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Episode 72
Furman realized he was at life’s crossroads, as evidenced by his mounting irritability.
The closer he got to turning the Big 70, the more irritable and impatient he became.
Family and friends also noticed him becoming more and more crotchety with each interaction.
If anyone needed a chill pill to abate his grumpy attitude, it was Furman Graham Hackendorf.
Initially, Furman shrugged off his short-fuse reactions and responses to frustrating situations and conversations, justifying himself with the internal mindset, “I’ve earned the right!”
Furman’s logic seemed reasonable to him. Years of toiling as an unflabble HR Director, endless people problems, countless long-winded Zoom calls - who could blame him for having a short fuse.
Furman, known as “Hack” to his inner circle of friends, had few hobbies outside of work.
Other than the welcomed the solitude of attending to his ever expanding garden, or clearing his mind on long walks on the beach, or retreating to his study to escape into Zane Grey’s western novels,
Furman had no other interests.
Remarkably, Furman’s wife, Jenny, was able to convince him to go on a luxury cruise to Alaska.
For the most part, the cruise went surprisingly well - mainly due to Jenny’s skillful management of minimizing Furman’s contact with the other cruise passengers.
Returning home, Furman felt relaxed, and, even to his own amazement, less impatient with people and irritating situations.
But, Furman’s contented state of mind was to be short lived.
Working in his yard, Furman became fixated on removing a large, overarching limb from his camphor tree.
The tree, while providing a welcomed canopy of shade, produced an inordinate amount of shiny black berries that constantly pelted his drive-way, leaving it a stained mess during its seasonal cycle of bombardment.
Furman’s instincts told him to call a tree service contractor but his pride and impatience told him to do it himself - immediately.
Climbing to the top of his eight foot, wooden ladder, chain saw in hand,
Furman realized he needed a ten foot ladder to do the job safely.
His late father’s wise admonition, “Never use a chain saw above your head,” came to mind, but Furman quickly dismissed the thought, instead, allowing the immediacy of the moment, to cloud his judgment.
Standing one step from the ladder’s top, Furman precariously balanced himself, awkwardly stretching to make an upper cut to the limb.
The operation was going smoothly until the limb, half way cut, sagged,
pinching the chain saw in a vice-like grip.
Frustrated, Furman turned the chain saw off. For several minutes he attempted to yank the saw from the limb’s death hold but to no avail.
Sweating profusely, and swearing under his breath, he descended the ladder - the chain saw menacingly swaying above him.
Disregarding the logic of getting a taller ladder and asking his neighbor for assistance, Furman, not to be deterred, hastily grab an axe from his garage.
Positioning himself at the top of the ladder, Furman began pounding the butt of the axe blade in an upward motion, trying to lift the limb and release its grip.
Almost at the point of exhaustion, Furman made one last attempt.
To his delight, his final blow lifted the limb high enough for him to extract the saw.
Unfortunately, triumph instantly turned to disaster as the heavy limb broke loose, slamming forcefully against the ladder, sending a startled Furman airborne.
Furman B. “Hack” Hackendorf crashed to the ground, landing on top of his axe blade, staining his drive-way in crimson red.
The once patience and compliant HR veteran, undone by his own, impatient doing.
